Moses, Party of....Two

You might have seen this picture on my IG this morning. I'm slowly opening up about our struggles with infertility. Some day the pain and heartache are heavier than others, and today is one of those days.

I flipped back to a blog back in May where I had a glimmer of hope that we would finally have our chance. My doctor is awesome, and I was convinced that we would have a baby soon. I had 6 months of treatments, and then an off cycle of 90 days. I literally tracked everyday in my phone counting down to the last medicine dosage. I had alarms set to celebrate off cycling. I just knew this would be it. I should've have listened to that little voice back then that told me I was setting myself up for heartache. By the end of the year, my gallbladder had other plans and threw the cycle pattern all out of whack with its decision to vacate my body. I had to stop all treatments- $15K in fertility down the drain. When I went in for surgery, I contemplated begging my surgeon just to remove all my organs while in there. Obviously my uterus had failed me again. I also hoped that my gallbladder weighed about 50lbs, that didn't happen either.

In the midst of all of this, I swear every person I know either announce their pregnancy or had a baby. Congrats, I'm happy. But, I am still allowed to feel my pain. One night after soon after surgery, I had a total meltdown. My husband was at work, so it was me crying incessantly into pillows and yelling at the walls. Why? Why me? Why? I hated my body. This is not to be confused with self-esteem or self-image; I hated my organs and endocrine system. All that effort, time, money, love and hope I had put into having a baby was a lost cause. Poof, gone. What hurt even more was no one knew how to comfort or console me. Perhaps maybe one person because their journey has been just as painful and heartbreaking. Infertility is still such a taboo subject, and no one wants to talk about. I don't share my journey because people look at me with blank stares or respond with half thought answers. "Relax." "Wait." "It will happen." What do you think I've been doing? How about, "This really sucks, and I know there's nothing I can say or do, but I love you. I'm here for you. Here's some ice cream."

At this point, I'm at that fork in the road, and I don't know what to do. Do we go back down this road? Give up our dream of conceiving our own child? Turn to adoption? Surrogacy and IVF are wayyy out of the budget. Or do we say, heck with it all...That's a question only we can decide. For now, we will remain Moses, party of two. I'll just enjoy my new baby nephew and the sweet baby Ks.

Favorite Dollar Tree Buys!

As you know, I live in a fairly small town, so when the Dollar Tree opened up- it was a BIG deal. If you're not sure what the Dollar Tree is... the name will give you one hint. Everything is $1.00. Like many dollar stores, some products are hit and miss. In my earlier posts, I raved about the disposable razors I found (because razors are expensive). The items below are things I buy every time I visit OR try before you buy deal.

 1. Quick Erasers (generic Magic Erasers): I love Magic Erasers, but I do not love their price. These are great to have if you have critters (two or four legged) at home. They literally clean everything. I saw a facebook post regarding these dupes and how awesome they work. I HAD to try them, and I will have to say they are awesome. You get two is the box for $1.00 compared to the pack of two Mr. Clean brand at Walmart for $2.80. SOLD!!!

2. Cleaning Supplies: Let's face it. No one likes buying cleaning supplies. You're just buying something to facilitate completing an already lengthy chore. Shelling out $3-$5 for name brand, does not make me or my wallet smile. You can find a wide variety of cleaning supplies at the DT. Also, usually you can catch name brand items! I stock up when I find these treasures!

3. Parchment Paper and Plastic Storage Bags: Another items, you are going to use and toss, so why spend a fortune of name brand?! I love the surefresh storage bags and buy them in a variety of sizes.

4. Toothpaste: You can find super deals on toothpaste at DT- especially when coupled with a coupon. We always buy our toothpaste here. Again, I'm still getting name brand at a fraction of the price.

5. BOBBY PINS!!! No matter how many I buy they ALWAYS end up missing. (Actually, when I was washing the bed linens the other day, I found 8-10 in the bed. Oops!). Bobby pins are available at about any store, but I can't bring myself to pay $2+ for something I KNOW I am going to lose. This is a 2 pack for $1.00. Plus,  it's incredibly hard to find the gold/blonde colored pins, but my local DT always carries them.

6. Tissue Wrapping Paper: I sell regularly online, and if I've learned anything- people love opening a beautifully wrapped package. (Colourpop is getting it right!!) You can buy a pack of 25 solid colored sheets, OR if you like a little more flare, you can buy a pack of 8 sheets as well. I always buy tissue wrapping paper in bulk because I go through it so ofter.

7. Duct Tape: Again, back to selling online... Have you checked the price of duct tape recently at a major retailer?! I REFUSE to pay $4-$6 for a roll!!! Thankfully, DT offers super cute patterns in roles at their store. This is another item I typically buy multiples at one time. 


I did a rough estimate if you were to buy everything pictured  at a large retailer (name brand items)- $33-$35 total!

One quick trip to the Dollar Tree- $12 plus tax!

It's a win in my book! Do you have some Dollar Tree favorites? Let me know!